When did I ever exchange texts for pictorials?
They say 'a picture paints a thousand words', and at the same time 'the pen is mightier than the sword'. Does a picture then in it full complexity and depth then carry within itself the power a thousand swords, and mightier?\

I grew up here, and reading some things here are mighty embarrassing (and really stupid to be so honest). But I'm the same person. Deep down within, embedded the in the many folds of change still lies the girl who enjoyed fangirling and Harry Potter fanfiction. Of writing about the one that could never be and was never it. Pouring heart and soul into making sense of poems and quotes used. I'd very like to go back to having the same love that I did for my f-list as I would now. I miss Roanne's sketches and the occassional and somewhat awesome fanfiction that truly shaped the hopeless romance that I have become.

Oh yes, I am still very much single and forever alone.

I wished I could maybe be more expressive on tumblr. But then again, tumblr has always been a facade. Don't you think so? In a place where you'd rather allow pictures to express yourself, doesn't it make it a whole lot harder to understand the person poting it. On the superficial level, it's a scrapbook of mindless thoughts meandering. But look beyond the beautiful random model and you'll see the emotion and read into it, you'll find every reblog and every post and fresh new school of thought.

Isn't it?

I am stuck in a rut. Can any of you tell?

My sleeping habits are horrible right now. My body clock is so whacked. I need to stop sleeping at unearthly hours like 2-3am in the morning and waking up at 12nn. Like quoted from How I Met Your Mother: Nothing good happens after 2am.

I'm not depressed. I mean I might be mildly depressed, a little lost and confused with my life right now, but I guess I never reached the depress stage. I think I'm too mentally prepared to be depressed. I have known since liek forever, good things never ever happen to me. Small, slightly miraculous things that have ever happened to me since young?I could probably count them with one hand or maybe with a bit of 2. I just get the minimal amount of luck that's entitled to me I guess, but nothing beyond that.

I wasn't really surprised that universities wouldn't surprise me, but I guess no one can go on without even a little bit of hope.

I never did like conforming to society's SOPs, but I guess not having the guts to go poly already proved that I am still weighed down by the pressure. Nonetheless, I have to figure out a route for myself. NIE?

I just sent in my appeal for NTU.
Mind you, 50 words and after 4 days I finally found the guts to hit the send button.
Now I have to draft out TWO seperate 100 word appeal letters for NUS & SMU.

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I AM SO TIRED ):